that’s what my mom told me this morning. she came down demanding the second half. is that a good thing?
i guess so.
i hope she likes it.
anyway, i’m gonna post a chapter up here for y’all to read, and you’ll have to tell me what you think.
It was dark when we left the white brick house, and it was dark when we arrived at headquarters the next day. I stumbled down the familiar halls and into my bedroom, climbed into bed fully dressed and fell asleep immediately.
The next morning I woke exhausted from a poor night’s sleep and ambled into the kitchen for breakfast. I saw Alex right away, and noticed a young little girl sitting beside him. his wife was across from him.
“Are you Smith?” she asked as soon as she saw me. I could tell she was angry but under control by her voice, but her eyes looked like she was ready to kill me.
“uh… it’s Smith Smith, actually.” My voice sounded groggy, and I rubbed my eyes.
“how dare the UIPA lie to me!” she stood up to yell at me. “I thought he was going to die! Do you have any idea how—“
“Yes, Mary-Ann.” I interrupted her. “i do know what it feels like to think someone is going to die. And I do know what it feels like to watch people you love think that you’ve died. I know it must have be hard for you, and I’m sorry. But your husband had it worse, you know. because he knew you were in pain. We weren’t even going to call you. We were just going to show up and take you and your daughter here quietly once things had calmed down a bit. but he go on my nerves so much I called. Be thankful he’s annoying.
“and for that matter, did you ever have to attend your own funeral? Did you have to stand there, while people wept over an empty coffin, and your parents mourned, while you stood there, dressed as an innocent bystander?” my voice had risen from a soft quiet voice to a loud yell.
That shut her up. Actually, it shut everyone in the kitchen up. I turned away from her, my face hard, my teeth clenched.
It had been years since I’d thought about my funeral. I was only five, so I didn’t remember much. But some parts I remembered far too well.
I mostly I remember watching my mom and dad. I was behind several police men and agents, who had come to “honor the girl who’d given her life for the president.” The president had come, too, though he only made a short appearance. He put flowers on my “grave”.
I remember my mom falling to her knees, her thick black hair cascading over the dirt where i was supposedly buried, when it was time for her to leave. She didn’t want to “leave my side.” She cried and said “she can’t be dead. I won’t let her be dead! She can’t become the dirt…” my father had had to take her away.
My father didn’t shed a tear. He stood there calm and uncaring as he’d always been. Quiet, just waiting for it all to be over. Like he didn’t love me enough to even act a little bit. like he didn’t care enough to even act for my mom’s sake.
I never wanted to see them again. at least, not until I was over eighteen, so I could be sure I wouldn’t have to stay with them. I could only imagine what my dad would do and say…
I hadn’t thought about my parents in a long time. I didn’t really care about them, as they were just kind of… out there somewhere. They had nothing to do with me.
I jerked out of the memory. I walked over to the table where breakfast was laid out. I don’t know what it was, or what it tasted like, or even if it was any good.
“Smith Smith to briefing.” I heard over the speakers. I got up quickly, ready to be doing something that kept my mind busy.
anyway. that’s the second half of Chapter 12. so none of it makes sense to you, but that’s ok.