Ok, occasionally i find an awesome website with funny links. I’ve been subscribing to MLIA (My Life Is Average) for a while. here are some of their quotes:
“Today, my friends and I went our to dinner and had a super hot waiter named Aslan. We all left him out numbers, but next to mine I put "For Narnia!" Guess which one of us he called? MLIA”
“Today my younger sister was with her maths tutor. The tutor asked her about fractions saying "If you had 8 people over for dinner who all wanted some cake, but there was only one, what would you do?" my sister replied with "buy some more cake". I like the way my sister thinks. MLIA”
“Today, I brought a slinky into class. The teacher saw it and asked for it. Thinking she was confiscating it, I reluctantly handed it over. She then got out all of the textbooks and let me make steps to roll the slinky down, saying it was "in the name of science." MLIA.”
“Today, my cell phone went off in calculus class. My teacher turned around and asked "Is that a cell phone?" Without missing a beat, some guy yelled out, "No, that's just me singing because I'm so happy about calculus! Doododoodododo!" my teacher was laughing so hard she forgot all about the phone. Thank you, random guy. MLIA”
“Today, I was watching the live 10 PM news. The first thing the news reporter lady said was "Good morning." It made me laugh and I wondered how many other people caught that. MLIA.”
“Today, I posted on twitter, "I feel as if the happiness has been sucked out of me. I don't know why." Five minutes later, a guy (who I don't know) replied, "those damn Dementors. Expecto Patronum!" and sent me a picture of Harry's Patronus. I have found a new best friend. MLIA”
“Today, my friends and I were at the Cheesecake Factory. When they asked for a name my friend cut in and said Voldemort. When our table was ready the waitress shouted "Voldemort? Party of six?" The look on everyones face was priceless. MLIA”
“Today, I saw my cat in the hallway. He meowed at me, and I meowed back. We did this two or three times and then stopped. I then heard my mom meow from her bedroom. MLIA”
“Today, I got pulled over on the interstate. The officer asked me why I was going 88 mph. I didn't realize that was my actual speed, but I told him, "I must be trying to get back to the future but my flux capacitor doesn't seem to be working." He laughed. I still got a ticket. MLIA”
“Today, I had a guy ask me for an application to my work (I manage a video game store). He asked me what he had to do to get a job there, and I told him "bring me a stegosaurus!". He came back with his completed application and a stegosaurus toy. He's got an interview Wednesday. MLIA.”
there are so many more! go check them out and subscribe. they’re awesome.
~Haleyknitz
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