I'm reading a book called Captivating, about why women are the way we are. and by that I mean why we always feel like we're "too much but not enough at the same time" and why any time that any man tells us that we look even the slightest bit nice, it makes our day. maybe our week. Shoot I still feel good from last Thursday when a guy-friend texted me and told me I looked nice.
Captivating is helping me understand why, even though I'm trying to learn what it means to be single and serve God, why I still yearn to be married and loved and pursued. why it doesn't matter if it's a friend's 14-year old brother who thinks I have a nice smile or a 40-year old man in books-a-million who thinks I look too good in those jeans, or a person who I'm not particularly attracted to, if some man thinks I look nice, I feel special and desired and adored. why even when a guy likes me and I don't like him back, I still allow myself to be around him, because I want to feel pursued. and why I pretended to marry my best friend when I was three. (I swear I don't think anyone will ever let me live that down.)
and the constant question that goes through my head every day: what's so special about me anyway? why me? what makes me important? the answer is simple: God made me special, and He made me the way I am. I don't think, even after reading the first few eye-opening pages, that I fully understand that statement.
I look forward to reading the rest of this book. I'll certainly post my thoughts on it when I finish.